Why adults have extramarital affairs?
Chat about a loaded matter that no one wants to speak about, this is it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on since millennium. Extramarital affairs can be burdened with evils, cause despair, and other troubles. In addition you have to wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness thing, funds, age difference, spiritual education, shame, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this article I will identify an affair as a long term, maybe years long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, dating wives.
Why do people have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are man seeking woman for affair. I think generally though it is only the human nature, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a several reasons I have run across.
Physically we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and fun, and sex makes us flee the real world for a brief period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Somebody are able to switch the longing on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another person, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the total romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos humanity has erected against extra-marital affairs. For lots of people the yearnings will overcome their fears and make them risk the anger of not only their family, but the public as well. So why, what is the method?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is terribly good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not harm your family or anyone else? You will need to minimize the risk you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the major grouping, colossal really. There are many couples whose marriage is over, except they are happy in the manner they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to consider. Your savings are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live as a family besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them completing the sex operation, at least not with their othere half. An extramarital affair from time to time solves the trouble while keeping the marriage whole.
Avoidance, sadly this is a frequent reason I fear. One or the other, generally the male is sexually neglecting his spouse for a multitude of reasons. As a male I truly am grateful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them accessible to us guys of romance, making them “hot milfs” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, could be caring is not here, could be it is the closeness, maybe neglect. Could be we have simply developed separately, our ordinary concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is diverce of what you want. Could be I just do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they seek the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for financial gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair